• Published by Kunthi Kumalasari Hardi, M.Ed., BCBA from BehaviorPALS Center 

Toxic parenting is a topic that is often discussed on social media, especially social media psychology. But what exactly is toxic parenting? Toxic parenting is a concept where inappropriate parenting behavior for children makes children feel afraid, feel guilty, or disobedient. This is an issue that is widely discussed because of the impact of toxic parenting that can continue on children until they are adults. 

The way parents interact with their children has an effect on how children see themselves, other people, and the world. If parents do not provide the children's needs to grow healthily and children. The child can have behavioral issues when he grows up and becomes a parent. For this reason, getting to know toxic parents so that we can understand what things from parent-child interactions we can prevent.

The following are the types of toxic parenting.

The Neglecting Parent

The characteristic of “the neglecting parent” is that these parents are often absent at important moments for their children, such as school performances, birthdays, and even helping when the child is sick. The effect of "the neglecting parent" is the child feels worthless, anxious, depressed. 

The Helicopter Parent

The characteristic of “the helicopter parent” is that this parent is too involved in the child's life, making it difficult for the child to be independent in meeting his needs, or making decisions. Children of "the helicopter parents" are said to be confused about the direction of their lives, have difficulty making decisions, and are dependent on others.

The Addict Parent

The characteristic of “the addict parent” is that parents often neglect to provide for their children's needs because they are addicted. Children of "the addict parent" often have to act as adults at the age of children. This is because their parents are busy with their own problems, so children have to come forward to make sure their own needs are met. Children of “the addict parent” are often deprived of their childhood because they have to help take care of their parents.

The Abusive Parent

The hallmark of “the abusive parents” is that parents become scary and violent when they are angry, or sexually abuse their children. Parents who commit physical and sexual violence have a very negative impact on their children. The fear and trauma experienced by children can last for years, even though parents no longer do this to their children.

The Narcissist Parent

The hallmark of “the narcissist parent” is that although they do not abuse their child physically or sexually, they abuse the child mentally with the desire to always control, demean, and see the child as an extension of himself (“you don't have to be like that, make Shame on you mama"). If the child excels, the parents will love him, while if there is something that is not as expected, the parents will humiliate the child. Children of "the narcissist parents" will feel inferior to people who chronically want to please others.

Based on the types of toxic parenting, parents need to reflect on whether there are these behaviors that we do as parents, or our parents do. Chances are we will imitate the behavior of our parents unknowingly. If indeed our parents' behavior, which includes toxic parenting, is indeed a wound, then we need to heal the wound and then become a healed parent, so that we can take care of the child by fully seeing the needs and personality of the child and accepting the child as a unique and valuable individual. .

Written by: Kunthi Kumalasari Hardi, M.Ed., BCBA from BehaviorPALS Center

Bibliography:

https://optimistminds.com/5-types-of-toxic-parents/

toxic parenting, parenting, abusive

Children 4 Years - 6 Years / 4 Tahun - 6 Tahun / Parenting / Pola Asuh / Family / Keluarga / What is Toxic Parenting?

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