• Published by Salma Safira Sukma from BehaviorPALS Center 

Working together as a team with your partner in parenting is crucial as it will influence your child’s development. It is about having a general agreement on how you want to raise your children, making decisions together, having each other’s back, and being supportive to each other. Parental teamwork can also include agreeing on your children’s bedtime, eating, and setting rules or disciplines for your children. Problem solving, managing conflicts, talking and listening, as well as accepting each other are also important parts of working together as parents. 

By working together as a team, your children get the opportunity to learn about respectful communication, constructive conflict resolution, and healthy relationships. Children who see their parents get along well, even after separation, will also feel safe and good about themselves. In addition, children are less likely to engage in behavior and development problems when parents are able to work together in solving conflicts positively.

Parental teamwork not only benefits your children but also you as a parent. It is found that parents are more likely to feel happier, more confident, and more satisfied with their parenting and family life when they work together with their partner. Therefore, it is important to have good parental teamwork to ensure your children and family well-being.

Here are some tips for a good parental teamwork:

1. Have agreement on family rules. It is important for you and your partner to decide what rules you want to have in your family and to stick to those rules. There should also be an agreement on how you want to enforce those rules and how you want to reward your children for following the rules. 
2. Have each other’s back. This includes backing up your partner’s decision on handling situations. However, this does not mean that you have to agree on every decision your partner has made. If you don't like how your partner is handling a certain situation, rather than act reactively at the moment, it might be better to wait until the situation has passed and discuss it later with your partner. This is important to avoid the ‘good cop’ and ‘bad cop’ view in your children where one parent is referred to as the ‘nicer’ parent than the other.
3. Sharing tasks. Sharing parenting duties with your partner is crucial for parents’ well-being. This can include putting your children to bed, feeding, changing diapers, taking your children to school, and also doing housework. 
4. Support each other. Your partner may have difficult times in some situations and it is important to give emotional and practical support to each other. Be aware if your partner seems tired or stressed. Avoid stepping in or taking control, instead ask if they need your help and give positive feedback to let them know that their effort is greatly appreciated. Simple emotional support by just being there for them and listening is also a great way to support. This is also applicable when your partner is dealing with work problems or other situations outside your household.
5. Have regular catch-ups, even when things are going well. It is a good thing to make time and talk about the children and parenting. This allows you the ideas and opportunity to plan ahead for dealing with future challenges. Furthermore, it is also important to focus on sharing the good times.

In summary, working together as a team to raise your children means that you are helping each other so everyone has the chance to do things they enjoy. You will also feel supported as a parent and have a better relationship with your partner. More importantly, good parental teamwork helps create a healthier environment for your children to grow.

References:

Parenting: Teamwork and why it’s important. (n.d.). Families for Life. Retrieved July 8, 2022, from https://familiesforlife.sg/parenting/PRDocuments/Tipsheets%20PDFs%20%28Updated%20logos%29/Tipsheets%20PDFs%20%28New%20logos%29/TS52_Parenting_teamwork_why_its_important.pdf

Raising children as a team: Why it’s important. (2021, January 20). Raising Children Network Australia. Retrieved July 8, 2022, from https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/looking-after-yourself/parenting/parenting-teamwork#why-raising-children-as-a-team-is-important-nav-title

By: Salma Safira Sukma Ikhsani, S.Psi. from BehaviorPALS Center

tips, parenting, teamwork

Newborn 0 - 6 Months / Newborn 0 - 6 Bulan / Marriage & Relationship / Hubungan Suami & Istri / Family / Keluarga / Tips For a Good Parental Teamwork

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