• Published by Aurel Saragih  

Fathers and Mothers must be familiar with the term "tantrum". Maybe once a week, you must feel the name of a child having a tantrum for a specific reason. Actually, how natural is it for children to have tantrums and what is the right way to reduce tantrums in children?

Its still natural, if it is still in the age range

At the age of 2-4 years, tantrum behavior is very natural. The main cause? Of course there is frustration that children feel. Frustration is different from just being annoyed. Frustration emotions are stronger when felt by children because there are things that they cannot achieve at that time and there is no other person trying to give them what they want. For example, when a child really wants to go eat ice cream but is not allowed by his mother. A reasonable length of time for tantrums is only 15 minutes and at least once a week.

When a child is frustrated, it is difficult for him to express what he thinks and wants. Therefore, crying, screaming, kicking, throwing things, or other aggressive behavior are things that are easy for children to do to get attention and what they want. If this tantrum behavior lasts until the age of more than 4 years with increasing intensity, then it is important to have it checked by an expert.

Teach children what they can and cannot do when they are angry

Sometimes children forget that being angry is permissible, but there are behaviors that limit it. For example, teach children that when they are angry it is not permissible to kick or shout in a rude manner. Give space for children to express their anger by crying, hitting the pillow, or even saying that they are angry. Parents also have to respect children's emotions and reduce sentences like "it's okay, you don't have to be angry". Imagine if we were angry and heard a sentence like that, surely it would be annoying, right, Mom and Dad?

Avoid situations that can frustrate the child

Parents must know what situations that might make children feel frustrated. Provide other activity options that can make the child forget the things that frustrate him

Parents should also remain calm

Hearing a child scream during a tantrum must be a stressful situation for parents. But it's important for parents to keep calm. When calm, just give a firm and clear intonation tone for the child to understand that he still won't get what he wants. Parents must be consistent in giving answers like "no" to things that will not be given even though they will have tantrums. This consistency is important as a child learns that even if he is angry, he still won't get what he wants.

If the tantrum occurs in a public place, then take the child to a quiet place such as a parking lot, an empty room, or even take the child home immediately so that the parents can calm him down first.

So, it's important to know when this tantrum becomes a problem. If the child shows tantrums all the time, starts hurting himself or others, and also when the child has used tantrums as manipulation then it is important to discuss this with an expert.

Reference

Daniels, E., Mandleco, B., & Luthy, K. E. (2012). Assessment, management, and prevention of childhood temper tantrums. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 24(10), 569-573.

Written by Sarah Aurelia, M.Psi of the BehaviorPALS Centre

tantrum, child tantrum at public, development milestones

Children 4 Years - 6 Years / 4 Tahun - 6 Tahun / Parenting / Pola Asuh / Family / Keluarga / Tantrums in Public Places, Is It Normal?

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